Yesterday was one of those days you wish you could never have to go through...I had to have an ultrasound of my gallbaldder - and when the doctor called to give me the results, she said that I, indeed, did have gallbaldder problems - but what was more concerning to her was two dark spots that appeared on my liver.
I would need to have an MRI - did I want to do that before I moved or after? Wow! I was totally unprepared for hearing that - especially a few days before our move when I'm just up to my ears in moving issues and packing, etc.!
So - the evening held a few tears - some phone calls to my sisters and my mom, and just resting in David's arms. And today - there have been a few more tears as I have thought about how this could come out. Of course - the cancer word is the one that I think of most. I'm not ready to die! I love my kids and my husband so much - I'm not ready to even think about leaving them.l
But in the last day and a half, I have thought more about that than I have ever thought about it, and I'm still not ready to entertain those thoughts. I had the MRI today - it was very cold and very tight-fitting. I've cried out to the Lord many times throughout today as it all came to mind. And a friend tonight - Rhonda Calvert - called me back after I had talked with her about it to just pray.
So - after a bit of prayer and thinking about this more - I thought I'd write a bit here. I kind of feel like it's all my fault - especially if it is cancer. I'm so fat - I've overeaten for so long. Did I think that I was just going to be immune to all the troubles of obesity? Was all the food worth it? No way! Not at all!!! Lord - please rescue me tonight from all the wrong thoughts and from all the wrong ways I have lived. I want your blessing and I want to be completely yours.
On another amazing path, however, God has brought a young family into our lives through the internet and craigslist - and there is a chance we might rent our house to them. I've been praying for a miracle - and wondering what miracle God might do, and it looks like it might it just might happen! Tomorrow, we'll have lunch with the dad and let him see our place and Flint Ridge, etc. It's pretty amazing if it all works out.
More on that tomorrow!!
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